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WHAT ALMOST EVERY WOMAN KNOWS SOONER OR LATER

BY...............OGDEN NASH

Husbands are things that wives have to get used to putting up with,

And with whom they breakfast with and sup with,

And who forget anniversaries,

And when they have been particularly remiss

They think they can cure everything with a great big kiss.

They are annoying when they stay home,

And even more annoying when they roam,

And when you tel them about something they have done they just look

unbearably patient and smile a superior smile,

And think, Oh she'll get over it after a while,

And when its a question of walking 5 miles to play golf they are energetic

but if it's doing anything useful around the house they are lethargic.

And they never want to go to the same show or listen to the same programme

that you do,

And when you perform some simple rite like putting cold cream on your face

they seem to think you are upto some kind of black magic or voodoo,

And they are brave and calm and cool and collected about the ailments of

the person they have promised to homour and cherish,

But the minute they get a sniffle or a stomach-ache of their own, why you'd

think they were about to perish,

And when you are alone with them they ignore all the minor courtesies and

as for irs and graces, they utterly lack them,

But when there are a lot of people around they hand you so many chairs and

ash trays and sandwiches and butter you with such bowings and scrapings

that you want to smack them.

Husbands are indeed an irritating form of life,

And yet through some quirk of Providence most of them are really very deeply

ensconced in the affection of their wife.

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